sometimes i wonder why family is so trying at times... i wonder how people grow up together and never really know each other or don't care enough to try. as if they grew up on separate continents. how do people let money run their lives? how do they let the value of dirty paper outweigh family value?
people may have deep feelings or love for the other but have a funny way of showing it. has every worldly possession ever needed, beautiful family, usually teach the same values in their own, strongly motivated by green.
others live life heart and family first, share their talents such as a green thumb worked raw and sunburned... simple life... simple pleasures... economic strains, near financial ruin, barely making ends meet at times, but HARD working, determined to provide for their young families and instill determination and a sense of self worth in their children. middle aged and still working long hours (when work is available...) in the sun, to make the monthly payments, ball of stress and hardly noticed. one day takes a big leap of faith! advertises services out, a trade with less competition than before.
a relationship falls apart, family ties too tight, leap of faith undercut--betrayal... help taken and left with no resolve, once again to pick up and start over. fight for the relationships recently formed without recourse or reaction.
worry that ends won't meet
deep emotional pain that will never be mended... nor addressed
i'm sad... hurt... disassociated and disappointed...
not knowing what to do with my thoughts or my feelings.
i'm just sad...
No comments:
Post a Comment